WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Surgeon General has announced that the socially acceptable drinking time will be changed from 5 p.m. to 1 p.m., effective tonight at midnight and continuing for at least the next thirty days.
The move is meant to keep those laid off or at home with kids from being classified as an alcoholic while complying with mandatory quarantine initiatives.
“People can hold out for a few days but by now I’m sure most people are starting to see beer as a kind of breakfast drink,” said current Surgeon General Jerome Adams. “We see this new time [of 1 p.m.] as a compromise where we’re, you know, trying to be understanding and meet you half way.”
With more bad news and upsetting information coming out about COVID-19 each day, Mr. Adams said the situation is “fluid,” and that more changes could come “if things continue to go this way.” Asked how far the commission was willing to go, Mr. Adams did not offer specifics.
“It’s only been a week [since mandatory quarantines were issued], and at this time, we still think drinking in the morning puts you in the conversation of being an alcoholic,” he said. “But, we will monitor the situation and if something changes our mind about that, we might look into another adjustment, depending.”
The change is the first adjustment made to the socially acceptable drinking time since 9/11, when it was 10 a.m. for six months following the attack. The nationwide announcement comes just a day after Colorado voted to allow its residents to get as high as they want right after breakfast.