Parents Dealing With New Reality of Having to Raise Own Kids
“I have to do everything,” one parent said. “I wake up, she’s here. I hang out, she’s here. I work, she’s here. I watch the news, she’s here. She’s always here.”
“I have to do everything,” one parent said. “I wake up, she’s here. I hang out, she’s here. I work, she’s here. I watch the news, she’s here. She’s always here.”
“Right now we’re putting all options on the table,” said James Ryan, Senior Spokesman for Brooklyn City Schools.
Sources say Saran-wrapped fruit, wrinkled, wet croissants, and previously-boiled beef could all make a roaring comeback.
The President said the coronavirus will be “very, very healthy in the long run” for the planet and its people.
One criminal said COVID-19 was “worse than a snow day” because “snow usually melts in a few days,” whereas there was no end in sight for the virus.
The change is the first adjustment made to the socially acceptable drinking time since 9/11.
The combination of regular-season success and recent post-season failure is what makes them one of the most fun teams to hate on, a survey of college campuses revealed.
A young woman sent the wrong emoji to her friend last night.
Descriptions from classmates say that the student seemed “wide awake” and “excited to learn” despite the fact that most of the class was at Ted’s party last night and were currently “hating their lives,” one student explained.
The author tried for one last hurrah, but failed, according to experts.
One North Carolina man sees a brighter future if he can manage to contract the virus.
“I think for once in my life the binge-drinking Gods have smiled upon me,” the man said of his booze-fueled date.